Your mid-twenties can hit you like a truck sometimes. One moment you’re out having fun at your graduation, and the next your whole life can flip upside down. And then it’s just you and yourself left wondering if this is what being an adult feels like. If this is it… After that, something even worse happens. Everyone around you seems to be happy, succeeding, getting married, and whatnot. They’re all landing jobs like it’s nothing, while you’re stuck in the same place. You’re still trying to figure out when life changed so much or whether you even like your current job. You’re questioning every single thing in your life and Googling things like ‘how to make friends at work.’ If this sounds similar, you are going through something called a ‘quarter-life crisis.’
Now, this might feel different because, up till now, everything followed a smooth straight line. You had it all planned out. School, then high school, maybe university, and then a job. But what after? Suddenly you find yourself drowning in a pool of choices and you don’t know what to pick. What career to pick, who to date (if anyone), and what to do with your life. As much as you get after graduation, it can also be extremely overwhelming at times. Because you weren’t the one making all the decisions before.
Then we have social media. It doesn’t help when you see that everyone else you once knew or hung out with is crushing it. But…the thing is, you are not alone at all. A quarter-life crisis is a real thing, and it should be taken seriously. It’s a lot more common than you might think. So, let’s figure it out. What it is, why it happens, and what you can do to get through it.
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Quarter-Life Crisis Explained
A quarter-life crisis is that confusing stage where you’re caught between the security of your childhood and the chaos of adulthood. It’s marked by doubts, stress, and the nagging feeling that everyone else is ahead of you. This phase often comes with big questions like, “Am I on the right path?” or “Why don’t I feel happy doing what I’m supposed to?”
Big life shifts that make you rethink everything. Source: Informed Investor
Experts describe it as a period of self-reflection and questioning. You’re trying to figure out your purpose, but instead, it feels like the weight of career decisions, relationships, and finances is all piling up at once.
What Age Is a Quarter-Life Crisis?
A quarter-life crisis doesn’t come with a set age. It can happen anywhere in your 20s or even stretch into your early 30s. Some might feel the weight of this phase right after finishing college, while others experience it later when major life events, like a breakup or career decision, hit unexpectedly.
The truth is, life doesn’t move at the same speed for everyone. You may think you’re behind because a friend is already climbing the career ladder or buying their first house, but it’s important to remember that everyone’s journey is different. This phase is less about a specific age and more about hitting a point in life where the pressure to figure things out feels overwhelming.
The Four Phases of a Quarter-Life Crisis
According to experts, this phase typically has four stages:
- Feeling Trapped: You’re stuck in commitments that no longer feel right, like a job or relationship
- Separation or Isolation: A breakup, move, or major change leaves you questioning everything
- Self-Reflection: You start rethinking your goals and priorities
- New Beginnings: After some trial and error, you begin to explore new paths and opportunities
Why Does It Happen?
Most of us grew up with a clear blueprint. But life after graduation doesn’t come with instructions.
Here are some of the triggers of a quarter-life crisis:
- Graduating from college, moving to a new city, or starting a job
- Seeing peers succeed or feeling like you’re behind on milestones (like getting married or climbing the career ladder)
Moments of self-doubt that make you hit pause. Source: LinkedIn
- Everyone’s highlight reels on Instagram or LinkedIn can make you feel like you’re failing
- A breakup or feeling stuck in a stagnant relationship
- Feeling unfulfilled at work or unsure about your career path
- Struggling to manage bills, student loans, or savings
Signs of a Quarter-Life Crisis
Here are some of the signs and what they might look like in your daily life:
You Feel Completely Lost About What Comes Next
If you’re constantly questioning your next steps, you’re not alone. Be it career goals, personal aspirations, or where you want to live, the uncertainty can feel paralyzing. Even if you’ve achieved things you thought you wanted, you might still feel unfulfilled, wondering if you’re on the right path.
You Feel the Need for a Big Change
That restless feeling of wanting something new can be overwhelming. This could mean daydreaming about leaving your job, moving to another city, or starting over in some way. Sometimes, this urge leads to impulsive decisions, like quitting without a plan. Other times, it leaves you stuck, unsure of how to start making changes.
When life feels like a maze with no map. Source: Susann Hoffmann
Your Friendships and Relationships Feel Strained
You might notice your social circle changing, whether you’re losing touch with old friends or questioning romantic relationships. Sometimes, this is because your priorities are shifting, and you’re trying to figure out which connections truly matter to you.
You Feel Disconnected or Isolated
Even when you’re around others, you might feel lonely. You could find yourself withdrawing from social events or avoiding people altogether. This might be because you’re dealing with internal struggles that are hard to explain to others.
You’re Searching for Meaning or Purpose
You may feel like your day-to-day life is missing something. Whether it’s your job, relationships, or personal goals, nothing feels as fulfilling as you hoped. This often leads to questions like, “What am I really doing this for?” and “What do I truly care about?”
Your Insecurities Feel Amplified
Doubts about your career, abilities, or even how you’re perceived by others can take center stage. You might overthink your decisions or second-guess yourself more often, which only adds to the stress.
Making Decisions Feels Overwhelming
Even simple choices can feel like they carry too much weight. You might avoid deciding on something because you’re scared of picking the wrong option. This fear of making mistakes can lead to procrastination and even more anxiety.
You’re Constantly Comparing Yourself to Others
It’s easy to fall into the trap of measuring your progress against someone else’s. Social media often adds fuel to this fire, making you feel like everyone else has life figured out while you’re still trying to sort things out.
How Do You Deal With It?
Here’s how to get through it with a little less stress.
Start by Checking In With Yourself
If everything feels chaotic, it’s time to slow things down and figure out what’s bothering you. Start asking yourself questions: what do you want, not what others expect you to do, and what excites you the most? And once you figure them out, maybe start writing them down. Think about what your dream life has always been like and then compare it to your current one. See where you can make small changes to get close to your dream one.
And never expect that you will get all the answers right away. Just look at your life and analyze what would make it more aligned with your goals.
Stop Comparing Yourself to Others
We all do one thing quite often, which we shouldn’t. And that is comparing yourself to others. If you see someone and they look happy, like they have it all together, it doesn’t mean that’s always true. There is a lot more under the surface that you only find out once you’re actually very close to that person. But even then, like on social media, people always tend to share the good part of their life. It gives the wrong impression at times that this person has the most perfect life ever. In reality, we all have struggles. What you need to do is focus on your growth only. What you do for yourself is just for yourself, not because someone else is doing it. Everyone feels comfortable moving at their own pace, and there is no set age limit for anything.
Take Care of Your Mind and Body
Take care of yourself in simple ways when other things are not working for you. You don’t have to live a luxurious life to feel better. Just sit somewhere comfortable, breathe deeply, or just take a walk outside. Sometimes eating your comfort food is the best way to detox and relax.
Taking care of yourself doesn’t mean fixing everything, but it helps you get through the tough days. Little habits, like getting outside, eating well, and sleeping enough, can make a huge difference.
Talk It Out With Someone
Talking to someone and carrying the weight of all their burdens are two separate things. You can still talk to someone without their sadness and negativity getting to you. The same goes for you. Don’t feel embarrassed to talk it out, or as if doing that will make you any weaker. We all need help or a shoulder to cry on at times, and it’s okay. It can be anyone: a friend, a mentor, or even a therapist.
A conversation can make all the difference. Source: The Times & The Sunday Times
If talking to friends feels like too much, there are plenty of online communities or groups where you can find support from people going through the same thing.
Try Something New
A quarter-life crisis can sometimes feel like you’re stuck in a rut. Why not break out of it by trying something totally new? Take a class, pick up a hobby, or even go somewhere you’ve never been before. Trying new things can shake things up and help you see the world and yourself in a different way. Even if it’s just learning how to cook a new recipe or taking a different route to work, a little change can trigger something new.
Focus on the Basics
When it feels like nothing is working out, maybe try going back to basics. And I mean very basic. Focus on your eating habits, try to sleep early and include some sort of movement in your routine. Just these very little things can add up over time and make you feel better even when life is trying its best to let you down. It can be easy to forget the simple things, but oftentimes it’s the basics that can help you feel grounded in trouble.
Do Something That Feels Good
Now, by doing something good, I don’t mean it has to be a difficult task. It can be as simple as helping someone out or complimenting them. Anything that brings that sense of purpose. You can even start volunteering at a hospital or an animal shelter. Don’t go with a mindset that, oh, now I have to solve all the world’s problems. Just a small act can make things better for you and yourself.
Consider Talking to a Professional
Sometimes, when everything gets too overwhelming, talking to a therapist can be helpful. Get the support you need to feel better. A therapist can help you see things from a different perspective. There’s no shame in seeking help when you need it.
This Phase Won’t Last Forever
This feeling of uncertainty or pressure? It’s not forever. You’ll find your way. Life won’t always feel like this. Change takes time.
A lot of people think your 20s are supposed to be the best years of your life. This can make it harder to acknowledge when you’re struggling. But a quarter-life crisis isn’t a failure; it’s a sign you’re growing. Talking about it and knowing you’re not alone can make a huge difference.
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FAQs
- Is a quarter-life crisis a sign of failure?
No, never. It’s completely natural and something everyone faces once in their life. You question your life choices and where your life is directed. It’s more of self-reflection than self-criticism. It can feel overwhelming at times, but if you put up with it, it only leads to personal growth.
- How long does a quarter-life crisis last?
There is no set period, but usually it lasts somewhere between a few months and several years. The experiences are different, so the life changes and career shifts are what it’s dependent on.
- Can a quarter-life crisis lead to positive change?
Oh, yeah. Sure. It can obviously be uncomfortable, but once you go through it, it allows you to reassess your life. You end up making better decisions in life. You can use this opportunity to change careers, move cities, or even develop new habits.
- How can I stop comparing myself to others during a quarter-life crisis?
Try to focus on your journey and progress only. I know it’s easy to fall prey to comparing yourself with others, especially if you are a regular social media user. But please remember, and tell this to yourself whenever possible, that everyone’s path is different. Be thankful for what you have already and set personal goals for yourself.
